I’m sure we’ve all had that one person that stood out in our high school. The student that was amazing at singing. The student that was a brilliant artist. The student that happens to have some sort of unique gift that sets them apart from all the other humdrum kids. At my school, some of our talented few tried to take it beyond the school yard. Girls competed in beauty pageants, boys went to school for musical theatre, one girl actually landed a modelling contract and modelled in Fashion Week (I didn’t personally know her, but she is gorgeous), and another girl got into a prestigious acting school.
And if you were a normal, untalented kid like me, you made fun of these people all of the time. Before you judge me point blank for that, let me tell you why.
At the time being, I would laugh about how these kids would inevitably fail. I giggled at their flat notes when they sang. I hoped for them to get rejected. Overall, I was a very bitter little girl.
Now that I’ve aged a few years, and done a little bit of creative work on my own, I think I know why I was so mean about these people. Plain and simply put, I was jealous. I wasn’t jealous of their talent, per say. No, I was jealous of their confidence. I was jealous that these kids, kids my own age, had the courage to try something out of the ordinary. I was jealous that they were willing to take the risks to attain something great.
Because I wanted to do great things as well.
That doesn’t justify my immature behavior, but at least now I know why I felt so bitter at the time.
Now that I’ve swallowed a bit of courage, I’m now trying to do what I’ve always wanted to do. And magically… the bitterness all disappeared. Of course, now I feel like an idiot for acting so juvenile before. But I’ll pass that off as a high school-girl thing.
I think I see parts of my experience in other people. The internet is a great place to find criticism, and oftentimes I’ll see that one Different Person receive a lot of flack for something they are trying to do. I wonder what causes this? Are those people secretly jealous, like I was? Or maybe it’s a deep seeded belief that they feel they must defend?
Either way, I know that I’ll try to be fairer next time I open my mouth to judge someone that’s trying to go somewhere with their life. It’s hard to try things that not a lot of people have done.
Have you had an experience like this? Maybe you were the great kid that other ones made fun of, or maybe you were the bitter kid I was. Or maybe you didn’t care at all, and had a blast with your childhood.